Translating What I’m Tolerating
Stop Tolerating.Start Thriving.
A personal message and tool from Tim Terrentine, Founder and Chief Translator, Translator's Consulting Group
I’ve been in a coaching journey with my coach since 2013. Of all the activities and challenges I’ve been given for my growth, seeing what I was tolerating was one of the most significant for my awareness and growth.
Here in this activity, I invite you to explore, as I did and still do, the small patterns you tolerate. And how might you remove those barriers to somebodiness in your life and work?
Because here’s what I’ve come to see: we are living through one of the most disconnected moments the modern workplace has ever measured. Engagement is at its lowest point in years. More people than ever say they feel excluded at work. A growing number would rather talk to a chatbot than a colleague when they’re struggling. And the people carrying the most weight, managers, team leads, the ones responsible for everyone else’s experience, are running on the least fuel they’ve had in years.
A missed thank-you. A hard conversation avoided. A boundary that quietly disappeared. A person talked over in a meeting, and nobody said anything. None of these, on their own, feels like a crisis. But stack enough of them up, in enough rooms, over enough years, and you get exactly what the research is now confirming: a workforce that doesn’t feel seen, and leaders too depleted to see them.
This is what tolerations do. They don’t announce themselves. They accumulate quietly and invisibly until the weight of them becomes the story of your leadership, your team, or your life, without you ever deciding it should be.
Somebodiness is the opposite of tolerated. It’s the practice of making sure people, starting with you, are seen, valued, heard, respected, and able to contribute. This exercise is how we find what’s standing in the way of that, one honest admission at a time.
— Tim
Four places tolerations tend to hide
A mountain of tolerations can feel overwhelming (mine surely did). But taken one honest line at a time, it’s completely climbable.
Instructions
Read and mark.
Go through all four sections. For each one, mark anything you’re currently tolerating. Make a light checkmark. Don’t overthink it. Your gut reaction is usually the right one.
Find your Top 10.
Look back across all four sections together. Which ones are costing you the most? Which ones, if you’re honest, have been sitting there the longest? Pick your ten and bring them to the Top 10 chart.
Name your plan.
Next to each of your Top 10, write one real action you’ll take to address it. Not a hope. A plan. Something specific enough that you’d know if you actually did it.
Notice the shift.
As you remove tolerations, pay attention to what changes: your energy, your relationships, how people respond to you. Every toleration you release is a step closer to the leader and person you were meant to be.
If an item fits more than one section, put it where it stings the most. That’s usually where the truth is.
How I Stand
Dignity starts with how you treat the one person you can’t walk away from: you.
Before we offer somebodiness to anyone else, we check what we’re tolerating in ourselves: our thoughts, our habits, the conditions we let slide.
What I’m tolerating in how I stand:
How I Move With People
Dignity is practiced person by person.
This is where somebodiness stops being private and becomes something someone else can feel. Every relationship is either getting your presence or getting your tolerations.
What I’m tolerating in how I move with people:
How I Handle Influence
Power reveals character before it produces results.
This is where somebodiness gets tested hardest. Influence is easy to fake and hard to actually practice. What you tolerate here shows up in your team before it shows up anywhere else.
What I’m tolerating in how I handle influence:
How I Hold the Line
Human leadership requires limits.
Somebodiness isn’t just about who you let in. It’s about what you refuse to accept, for yourself and for others. A boundary isn’t a wall, it’s a gift of respect.
What I’m tolerating in how I hold the line for myself:
What I’m tolerating in how I hold the line for others:
Top 10 Tolerations & Action Plan
Tap ★ on any item you’ve marked to send it here, or type straight into the chart. Then write one real action next to each.
Nothing you mark or write here is saved or sent anywhere. Print or save it as a PDF to keep it.
Want help removing what’s on your list?
Coaching sessions focused on setting and implementing personal and professional boundaries can help you remove the tolerations that are hardest to move on your part.